


"Help Us"

by KianStrugglesToEven



Series: Kinky Memes [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Multi, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 22:53:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9628787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KianStrugglesToEven/pseuds/KianStrugglesToEven
Summary: NarrativeControl: What is it Alexander?Damilton: Are any of you in the vicinity of my dorm?Pegarita: Why????Damilton: ...Damilton: I cant open this jar and i need help.Angeli-kickyourass: Oh my fucking god.or: Another gosh dang texting fic





	

**Author's Note:**

> I really like texting fics so i wrote my own lmao
> 
> Damilton - Alexander  
> Turtle.Boi - John Laurens  
> JeSuisChrist - Lafayette  
> 4SetsOfCorsets - Hercules  
> Angeli-kickyourass - Angelica  
> NarrativeControl - Eliza  
> Pegarita - Peggy  
> GWash(ingMachine) - G.Wash  
> SicklyAndPrickly - James  
> MacaroniAndMe - Thomas  
> ABurrSir - Aaron

Damilton added Turtle.Boi , JeSuisChrist, 4SetsOfCorsets, Angeli-kickyourass, NarritiveControl and Pegarita to "HeLP mE"

Damilton: HELLO HELLO HELLO!!!  
NarrativeControl: What is it Alexander?  
Damilton: Are any of you in the vicinity of my dorm?  
Pegarita: Why????  
Damilton: ...  
Damilton: I cant open this jar and i need help.  
Angeli-kickyourass: Oh my fucking god.  
Angeli-kickyourass: I'm nearby give me five minutes.  
Damilton: Thank youu  
Angeli-kickyourass: Yea yea i may as well help your weak ass  
JeSuisChrist: Are you seriously that weak?  
Damilton: No!! This jars just really stuck s'all.  
4SetsOfCorsets: "s'all"  
Damilton: fight ME herc.  
Angeli-kickyourass: Alexander im outside let me in  
Damilton: Oh ya okay hang on  
\-----------------  
Angeli-kickyourass: Alexander this jar was barely stuck you weak shit  
Damilton: Wow, just expose me like this Angelica  
\-----------------  
NarritiveControl: Wait where's John?  
Pegarita: I saw him in the coffee store of campus like,,, an hour ago  
Damilton: Oh ya he had a date with someone from his art class  
NarrativeControl: WHY WAS I NOT MADE AWARE OF THIS????  
Angeli-kickyourass: cause you would mother hen the shit out of him and stalk him on his date???  
NarrativeControl: tru  
Turtle.Boi: Hello i am here give me a second to read up  
Turtle.Boi: Alexander you weak peice of shit i bet it was that frikin jam jar  
Damilton: yea lmao  
NarrativeControl: So how was your date???  
Pegarita: Please read that as: "Who did you go on a date with how did i go did they hurt you do i have to kill"  
NarrativeControl: Yea p much  
Turtle.Boi: Naah dont worry Liza it was great tbh, his name is Aaron and he's really nice.  
4SetsOfCorsets: Wait Aaron? Like, Aaron Burr?  
Turtle.Boi: Yea thats him  
4SetsOfCorsets: Oh Shit.  
Damilton: YOU DIDNT TELL ME YOUR DATE WAS THAT SOGGY WET WIPE  
Pegarita: There he go  
Turtle.Boi: Lmao honestly that was his reaction when i mentioned Alexander  
Turtle.Boi: Though his insult of choice was "Loud mouthed bother"  
Damilton: THAT LITTLE SHIT IM GONNA FIGHT HIM  
Turtle.Boi: No your not  
Damilton: Damn guess not  
Angeli-kickyourass: John you gotta teach me how to do that one day  
Turtle.Boi: The world will never know.  
NarrativeControl: So anyway John are y'all gonna go on another date?  
Turtle.Boi: Maybe, we haven't really set a date for one but i have pretty high hopes  
\------------------------  
Damilton: FUCKIN TJEFFS  
JeSuisChrist: Are you? Finally, the tension was killing me.  
4SetsOfCorsets: Laf what the fuck  
Turtle.Boi: Yea, why would Alexander have sex with TJeffs? You know he prefers older men  
Damilton: WHAT THE FUCK GUYS  
Turtle.Boi: Am i wrong tho  
Damilton: NO BUT THATS NOT THE POINT  
Pegarita: Alexander what did TJeffs do  
Turtle.Boi: Dammit pegs i thought i'd distracted him  
Damilton: IM GLAD YOU ASKED MY DEAREST PEGGY  
NarrativeControl: Im sat next to him rn and he is typing furiously get ready  
4SetsOfCorsets:shIT  
Damilton: THAT FUCKING VELVET COVERED PIECE OF FECAL MATTER DECIDED THAT TODAY WOULD BE THE DAY THAT HE BROUGHT HIS LUNCH TO CLASS  
Damilton: WHICH WOULD NOT BE A PROBLEM, EXCEPT THAT IT WAS MAC AND FUCKING CHEESE  
Angeli-kickyourass: Why was that a problem he has mac'n'cheese all the time???  
Damilton: IT WOULDNT BE A PROBLEM IF HE HADNT SPILLED HIS MAC AND FUCKIN CHEESE ALL OVER MY FUCKING CLASS NOTES  
Angeli-kickyourass: Oh, shit.  
JeSuisChrist: Can you not copy someone else's notes????  
Damilton: NooooooOOooOOoooooo they wouldnt be as detailed as mine and i r e q u i r e the detail.  
Turtle.Boi: Christ dude.  
Angeli-kickyourass: Do you want me to fight him??  
Damilton: No, its okay, i'll deal.  
Pegarita: I'm sorry but did i just see Alexander Hamilton deny the chance to see Thomas get fuckin rekt?  
NarrativeControl: Theres no need, GWash fuckin ripped into thomas when it happened, you could hear it from my class and i was the floor above.  
Turtle.Boi: Oh shit rlly?  
4SetsOfCorsets: Was that what he was yellin bout??? we could hear it down in the basement lmao  
Turtle.Boi: good ol GWash  
JeSuisChrist: Bet that was hot  
Damilton: Oh it was  
NarrativeControl: The fuck guys  
JeSuisChrist: What? He is, how do you Americans say it,, Daddy af!  
4SetsOfCorsets: LETS NOT SHALL WE  
Angeli-kickyourass: Kinky shit aside,,, Alexander what are you going to do about your notes?  
Damilton: Idk??? I guess ill have to deal with someone elses notes or smthin :/

\------------------------------------  
GWash(ingMachine): Alexander.  
Damilton: Uh, yes sir?  
GWash(ingMachine): I am aware that the events that occurred in class today may of left you with inadequate notes.  
Damilton: Yea,,,,  
GWash(ingMachine): Therefore i would like to offer you a chance to go through todays lecture again, so you may get the notes back to your standard.  
Damilton: That would be fantastic sir!  
GWash(ingMachine): Wonderful! Please message me a time that would suit you :)

\-----------------------------  
Damilton: FUCK ME SIDEWAYS  
JeSuisChrist: No thanks  
Angeli-kickyourass: Alexander the fuck  
Damilton: I CAN GET MY NOTES BACK  
Turtle.Boi: Oh gr8!  
Pegarita: How in hell are you going to do that?  
Damilton: GWash offered to go through the lecture again with me later so i can re-take my notes  
Damilton: Did you know he uses emoji's when he texts its adorable  
NarrativeControl: How nice of him  
JeSuisChrist: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Damilton; Lafayette no  
JeSuisChrist: Lafayette yes  
4SetsOfCorsets: M OV I N G ON  
4SetsOfCorsets: Why is this chat still named "Help Me"  
Pegarita: Idk it seems relatable  
4SetsOfCorsets: Huh

*4SetsOfCorsets changed the chat name to "Help Us"*  
NarrativeControl: Yea, that works.  
\-----------------------------------------------  
Turtle.Boi: Is Alexander still with GWash?  
NarrativeControl: Yea why  
Turtle.Boi: No reason its just really late and he hasnt come back yet  
Angeli-kickyourass: John you arent Alexanders room mate how do you know he's not back?  
Turtle.Boi: Lmao me and Laf where watching the Flash  
Pegarita: NO SPOILERS IM ONLY UP TO SEASON TWO  
Turtle.Boi: No worries fam  
JeSuisChrist: Why has he not come back? It shouldnt take that long to re-take some notes?  
Turtle.Boi: That really depends on the notes he's taking and how long the lecture is.  
Pegarita: How long is the lecture?  
NarritiveControl: Idk Washingtons lectures go on for a while sometimes  
Angeli-kickyourass: I know

*Angeli-kickyourass added MacaroniAndMe to "Help Us"*

Angeli-kickyourass: Hey dickstick how long was washingtons lecture today  
MacaroniAndMe: What the fuck?  
Angeli-kickyourass: The Lecture. From Today. Where you spilled Max and cheese on Alexander?  
MacaroniAndMe: Oh like, an hour and a half. Why?  
Angeli-kickyourass: No questions, your purpose has been fufilled.

*Angeli-kickyourass kicked MacaroniAndMe from "HelpUs"*

JeSuisChrist: So if Alexander left 2 hours ago he should be back now right?  
Damilton: I just got out guys c h i l l  
Turtle.Boi: Where the hell where you?  
Damilton: He finished the lecture and asked if i had any questions.  
Damilton: I always have questions  
Pegarita: Of course.

\-----------------------  
Damilton: Angelica i just realised you added TJeff what the fuck  
Angeli-kickyourass: I needed answers, he had em  
Damilton: Why didnt you just PM him??? He could of taken screenshots! He could of seen our memes! The results would of been disastrous!  
NarritiveControl: Alexander chill tf out man, go fight something  
Turtle.Boi: How would that make him chill???  
NarrativeControl: Idk man ive known him for years now and hes always at his chillest after fights or sex, and he doesnt have anyone to have sex with soooo  
JeSuisChrist: Im sure Washington wouldnt mind ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
4SetsOfCorsets: Laf please stop  
JeSuisChrist: Non ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
4SetsOfCorsets: L a f a y e t t e  
NarrativeControl: Ooh, full name  
Turtle.Boi: Thats not his full name  
Turtle.Boi: Thats like,,, 1/9  
NarrativeControl: I'm not even gonna ask  
Pegarita: Where the hell has Alexander gone?  
NarrativeControl: He's probably gone to fight someone.  
NarrativeControl: Or porn, who knows  
Turtle.Boi: Eliza did you just imply that Alexander fights porn or am i reading to much into this  
Damilton: Wait what the fuck guys  
Angeli-kickyourass: How would you even fight porn lmao  
Pegarita: witH OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR JESUS CHRIST CAN I GET AN AMEN  
NarrativeControl: Nah im wondering how he manages to watch straight porn with bobs and vagina  
Pegarita: bobs  
NarrativeControl: *Boobs, ducking auto  
NarrativeControl: *Fucking auto  
JeSuisChrist: Im fuckIng W h eEzi ng  
NarratiiveControl: ffs  
JeSuisChrist: fds (For ducks sake)  
Pegarita: B Y E  
NarrativeControl: I s2g laf  
JeSuisChrist: s2b (Swear 2 Bob)  
4SetsOfCorsets: Bob?  
NarrativeControl: DUCK YOU AUTO  
4SetsOfCorsets: Eliza what arent you telling us  
NarrativeControl: omfg  
JeSuisChrist: Omfb  
Pegarita: I just had a horrid flashback of when Angelica had a bob haircut  
Pegarita: All fear the bob  
JeSuisChrist: Eliza you really need to re-read your texts before sending them  
NarrativeControl: Im crying rn  
4SetsOfCorsets: I know ducks and Bobs  
NarrativeControl: Duck you  
Pegarita: This is to funny oh my god bye  
JeSuisChrist: Do you mean "Oh my bob"?  
Pegarita: Its been good y'all  
NarrativeControl: Duck off all of ya  
4SetsOfCorsets: Even Bob?  
4SetsOfCorsets: Bob is God  
Pegarita: Swear Loyalty to our leader  
Turtle.Boi: Boob the Builder  
4SetsOfCorsets: Bob and ducks  
NarrativeControl: Alexander tell em im being bullied  
Pegarita: Why is the group chat so wild smh  
*Turtle.Boi sent a picture to "Help Us"*  
4SetsOfCorsets: What the duck john  
Turtle.Boi: :))))))))))))))))  
Pegarita: A BLASPHEMY ON MY CHILDHOOD  
NarrativeControl: F U C K Y O U H E R C  
Damilton: IF YOUR GONNA DO THAT AT LEAST USE A DECENT BOB  
Angeli-kickyourass: What have i returned to  
NarrativeControl: Im being bullied thats what  
Pegarita: Where the fuck have you been by the way its been ages since you where active  
Angeli-kickyourass: Alexander was in a twitter war with some random racist and i was getting the screenshots  
Damilton: I fucking destroyed that piece of shit  
Angeli-kickyourass: Hell yea you did

\--------------------------  
Angeli-kickyourass: "I wear matching underwear incase i ever meet a beautiful stranger whos like, "heres my number" so i can be like "Heres a condom, fuck me." - Peggy 2k17  
Pegarita: "He likes tits, i like tits, it works" - Angelica 2k17  
NarrativeControl: How am i related to any of you what the fuck  
Pegarita: Your shaming us, Eliza?  
Angeli-kickyourass: "Dont have sex in a public toilet kids" - Eliza 2k16  
NarrativeControl: IT WAS FROM MISFITS OKAY  
4SetsOfCorsets: Is that why you wouldnt have sex with me in the costa coffee toilets?  
NarrativeControl: No that was because we where there with my DAD  
Pegarita: Wait what  
Angeli-kickyourass: When was this  
Damilton: Im confused  
4SetsOfCorsets: Shit  
NarrativeControl:Well  
Turtle.Boi: ARE YOU GUYS DATING???  
4SetsOfCorsets: Uhhhhhhhhh  
NarrativeControl: .... Yes?  
Damilton: WHEN THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN??  
NarrativeControl: Like,,, last year?  
4SetsOfCorsets: 3rd of October 2016 <3  
NarrativeControl: <3  
Angeli-kickyourass: HOW THE HELL DID YOU GUYS HIDE THAT FOR 5 MONTHS  
Damilton: HERC HOW DARE YOU DATE MY SISTER WITHOUT ASKING FOR OUR BLESSINGS  
Pegarita: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US  
NarrativeControl: Because we weren't sure how you would all react i guess  
Turtle.Boi: well im happy for you  
Turtle.Boi: Even though i thought Eliza was gay  
NarrativeControl: Pan  
Turtle.Boi: Ah  
JeSuisChrist: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME WE COULD OF BEEN PAN PALS  
NarrativeControl: Well ive told you know so we can be Pan Pals now  
JeSuisChrist: YAaaY  
Angeli-kickyourass: Well anyway, same as john, im happy for y'all  
Damilton: same  
Pegarita: same  
JeSuisChrist: same  
\--------------------------------  
Angeli-kickyourass: Hey guys can i add James to the chat?  
Damilton: James Madison?  
Aneli-kickyourass: No James Reynolds of course James Madison you dumbass  
Damilton: Oh yea sure  
*Angeli-kickyourass added SicklyAndPrickly to "Help Us"*  
SicklyAndPrickly: Angelica why  
Damilton: Hi James <3  
SicklyAndPrickly: Hey Alexander <3  
4SetsOfCorsets: Wait what  
Damilton: James is my platonic husband lmao  
NarrativeControl: WHy?  
SicklyAndPrickly: It messes with Thomas and honestly you write 85 essays with a guy your gonna wanna get married after that  
SicklyAndPrickly: Can i ask though;  
SicklyAndPrickly: "4SetsOfCorsets"?  
Turtle.Boi: Yea actually where did that come from  
4SetsOfCorsets: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
NarrativeControl: I dont know the reasoning behind that either so spill up babs  
4SetsOfCorsets: W e l l  
Pegarita: Your darlin has turned against you tell the story herc  
4SetsOfCorsets: So you remember when there was that weird renessance fair thing a couple years back  
4SetsOfCorsets: And all the ladies were,,,, wearing corsets and stuff,,,,,,  
NarrativeControl: No way  
4SetsOfCorsets: ,,,, Its hard to have intercourse over four sets of corsets,,,,,  
Damilton: Goals  
JeSuisChrist: I remember that fair lmao i wore this fancy ass dress it was gr8  
JeSuisChrist: And why was James added may i ask  
Angeli-kickyourass: This is a chat with my friends  
Angeli-kickyourass: James is my friend  
Damilton: "Friend" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Angeli-kickyourass: Fight me Hamilton you know how gay i am  
Damilton: *Hamilton-Schuylur how do you forget that we have the same name smh  
Angeli-kickyourass: Oh yea sorry but i am still ready to f i g h t  
Damilton: Denneys parking lot  
Damilton: 3am  
Turtle.Boi: RAP BATTLE!  
Angeli-kickyourass: Oh your on bitch  
\-------------------  
Angeli-kickyourass: Objection why is Alexander so good at rapping  
Damilton: Im an english major hunty, words are my weapon xoxo  
SicklyAndPrickly: Did you guys actually have a rap battle at 3am  
Turtle.Boi: Yea lmao  
4SetsOfCorsets: The Dennys staff got really into it  
Damilton: They gave me free food for winning it was gr8  
Pegarita: Im so sure GWash walked by about halfway through Alexanders go though  
Damilton: Wait what  
JeSuisChrist: Yea he went in and got food and stuck around to watch Alexander rap for a bit  
Damilton: Two things  
Damilton: Why was Gwash at dennys at 3am  
Damilton: WHY DIDNT ANYONE STOP ME WHEN HE SHOWED UP OHMYGOD IM SO EMBARRASSED????  
SicklyAndPrickly: Why be embarrasses he would probably be impressed that your doing something productive with what he teaches  
Pegarita: He ended his rap with "Turn around, bend over, ill show you where my shoe fits"  
SicklyAndPrickly: Didnt you once yell that at me and thomas?  
Damilton: Its a good line and is applicable in many situations.  
Angeli-kickyourass: Was he around for my stuff because i was pretty fire and would of one if it was anyone other than Alexander.  
JeSuisChrist: "You have invented a new kind of stupid! A damage you cant undo kind of stupid!"  
Pegarita: My new motto whenever Alexander does anything  
Damilton: Wow rude  
SicklyAndPrickly: My new motto whenever Thomas does anything  
NarrativeControl: Its 4am why the shit are you fucks still awake  
Angeli-kickyourass: Darling sister, where you actually asleep?  
NarrativeControl: No but i was trying to ignore you lil shits and my phone kept buzzin so here i am  
JeSuisChrist: What where you doing  
NarrativeControl: Nothing for you  
Pegarita: Herc check your phones shes probably sent you nudes  
JeSuisChrist: What the fuck peggy  
Damilton: $20 says she sent nudes  
Damilton: Ill go thirds with you Eliza and Herc bc its you we're betting about  
Angeli-kickyourass: $20 on no nudes because our sister is a pure bean Alexander  
Damilton: Herc? Eliza? A verdict please?  
4SetsOfCorsets: ......  
4SetsOfCorsets: t o p n u d e s e l i z a  
Damilton: Ayyyyyyy Angelica you owe me $20  
NarrativeControl: Dont forget you owe us a cut Alexander dearest  
Damilton: I would never forget my dear  
\--------------------------------------------------  
Pegarita: JESUS CHRIST  
NarrativeControl: ???  
Pegarita: STORYTIME KIDS  
Pegarita: SO I WAS OVER NEAR THE ENGLISH DEPARTMENT RIGHT  
Pegarita: AND GWASH WAS THERE  
Pegarita: SO I KIND OFF JUST AWKWARDLY WAVED????? AND HE CAME OVER TO ME  
Pegarita: asked how my studys are going which was nice of him  
Pegarita: AND I WAS SO CONFUSED TO WHY HE WAS TALKING TO ME UNTIL HE TURNS TO LEAVE AND HE JUST GOES  
Pegarita: "Oh, and would you tell Miss Schuyler and Mr Hamilton-Schuyler that i thoroughly enjoyed their *cough* performance last night"  
Pegarita: AND HE JUST LEAVES  
Turtle.Boi: Wild  
Damilton: OH MY GOD NO IM SO EMBARRESSED  
Damilton: TIME TO FLING MYSELF INTO THE SUN  
NarrativeControl: That must of sounded so weird to someone who has no clue what happened  
\-----------  
*MacaroniAndMe to SicklyAndPrickly*  
MacaroniAndMe: JEMMY I THINK HAMILTON AND ANGELICA ARE FUCKING  
SicklyAndPrickly: Okay three things thomas  
SicklyAndPrickly: *Hamilton-Schuyler  
SicklyAndPrickly: Why do you think that?  
SicklyAndPrickly: THEY'RE SIBLINGS THOMAS WHAT THE FUCK  
MacaroniAndMe: No okay i heard washington say something to the small one,,, Patty? Percy? Megan?  
SicklyAndPrickly: Peggy.  
MacaroniAndMe: AND IT WAS SUGGESTIVE OKAY HE WAS LIKE "I enjoyed their *Coughs* Performance" AND THEIR ADOPTIVE SIBLINGS JEMMY  
SicklyAndPrickly:One sec  
\------------------------  
SicklyAndPrickly: OH MY FUCKING GOD ELIZA YOU WHERE RIGHT  
SicklyAndPrickly: THOMAS HEARD WASHINGTON TALKING TO PEGGY  
JeSuisChrist: Oh my ducking bob  
NarrativeControl: LET IT GO LAFAYETTE  
*SicklyAndPrickly added MacaroniAndMe to "Help US"*  
SicklyAndPrickly: SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN IM LAUGHING TO HARD FOR THIS  
MacaroniAndMe: What the hell why am i back here  
Angeli-kickyourass: Oh my god thomas me and alexander where having a rap battle last night outside dennys and gwash saw us thats all  
MacaroniAndMe: Ohhhh  
MacaroniAndMe: Who won?  
Damilton: c'est moi  
MacaroniAndMe: Oh ew  
MacaroniAndMe: Why was Washington even at a dennys last night??  
4SetsOfCorsets: We dont actually know no ones asked him yet  
Damilton: Someone probably should  
JeSuisChrist: Yea Alexander get on that  
Damilton: Wait why me?  
4SetsOfCorsets: Your like his favourite person in this school he wont yell if you ask  
MacaroniAndMe: Ill give you $20 if you do it  
Damilton: brb  
\----------------------------  
Damilton: Professor Washington, Sir!  
GWash(ingMachine): Yes Alexander?  
Damilton: I would like to ask why you where at Dennys at 3am last night  
Damilton: Not to seem nosy or rude, but it doesnt seem like the sort of place you would be at 3am  
GWash(ingMachine): Where do you think i usually am at 3am Alexander?  
\-------------------------------------  
Damilton:SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT  
Pegarita: ??????  
\-----------------  
GWash(ingMachine): Alexander?  
Damilton: Iwouldassumeyouwouldbeasleepsir  
GWash(ingMachine): Ah yes, but on that particular night a good friend of mine decided to invite herself over to my house and force me to buy her food, hence the dennys.  
Damilton: Oh lmao John makes me do that all the time  
GWash(ingMachine): "Lmao"?  
Damilton: Not important, thank you for telling me sir.  
GWash(ingMachine): No problem Alexander :).  
\--------------------------  
Pegarita: ?????  
NarrativeControl: Alexander?  
*Damilton sent "IFuckedUpButWheresMyTwenty".screenshot to "Help Us"*  
MacaroniAndMe: Damn,,, ill pay you in class tommorow  
JeSuisChrist: "Where do you think I usually am at 3am alexander?" sounds vaguely sexual  
Pegarita: Is that why you were yellin  
Damilton: Y E P  
MacaroniAndMe: Wait do you have a crush on Prof.Gwash?  
Damilton: Thomas i s2g if you tell a n y o n e  
MacaroniAndMe: What nah man  
MacaroniAndMe: That would be like,,, the ultimate dick move  
SicklyAndPrickly: Yea, that would be low even by thomas's standards  
4SetsOfCorsets: Why is Madison so savage sometimes  
Angeli-kickyourass: Its part of why were friends tbh

\-------------------------  
JeSuisChrist: *Alexander, rubbing green eyeshadow of his face* "Its like i gave shrek a handjob"  
Turtle.Boi: Wut  
JeSuisChrist: I put green eyeshadow on his face and he cant get rid of it  
Pegarita: Since when did Alexander call Washington Shrek?  
Damilton: W h a t the D uck Peggy  
NarrativeControl: PLEASE LET THAT GO  
JeSuisChrist: Never  
NarrativeControl: Pl ea s e  
JeSuisChrist: N e v e r  
Turtle.Boi: Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette, leave Eliza alone!  
Pegarita: IS THAT YOUR FULL NAME???  
JeSuisChrist: Well Marquis is a title but yea p/much  
Pegarita: Wait what  
JeSuisChrist: Yea it doesnt really equate to much now-a-days but its a title  
Angeli-kickyourass: Did you not know that peggy?  
Pegarita: I dont really hang out with laf that much sue me  
4SetsOfCorsets: Really??? You two are both so similar you should hang out more  
Pegarita: LAF YOU WANNA COME WATCH THE FLASH WITH ME  
JeSuisChrist: IM ALWAYS A SLUT FOR GRANT GUSTIN  
Pegarita: Ayyy see ya later guys and gals and non-binary pals  
Turtle.Boi: lmao bye  
\---------------------------------  
Damilton: JESUS FUCK SOMEONE HELP  
MacaroniAndMe: Jesus fuck alexander its 2am why are you awake  
JeSuisChrist: He just ran out of our dorm what the fuck  
Damilton: LAF GET OUT OF THERE  
Damilton: THERE WAS A HUGE ASS FUCKING SPIDER  
JeSuisChrist: WHAT OH SHIT NO  
MacaroniAndMe: Ohmygod are you actually freaking out about a spider?  
Damilton: ITS A BIG SPIDER  
MacaroniAndMe: Jesus Christ  
MacaroniAndMe: We're in the same building right what floor are you on  
JeSuisChrist: 4TH  
MacaroniAndMe: Right gimme a sec ill be right down to get rid of this fucking thing  
Damilton: THANK YOU!  
JeSuisChrist: MERCI  
MacaroniAndMe: Right wheres this goddam spider then  
Damilton: My room  
MacaroniAndMe: Alexander this spider is tiny  
JeSuisChrist: Aaron Burr just walked out of his dorm and is just stood there confused  
MacaroniAndMe: to be fair your wearing a nightgown and a facemask and Alexander is wearing a massive t-shirt and pretty much nothing else, and your stood in the middle of the hallway at 2am  
MacaroniAndMe: Its a pretty weird sight tbh  
Damilton: Fight me Thomas the spider is huge and Burr is literally just stood texting why is he texting what is he doing  
MacaroniAndMe: Its barely bigger than my finger Alexander  
Turtle.Boi: HE'S TEXTING ME YOU LITTLE SHITS HE WOKE UP WHEN ALEXANDER SCREAMED AND HE WANTS TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON  
Turtle.Boi: You know what im just going to add him  
*Turtle.Boi added ABurrSir to "Help Us"*  
ABurrSir: What is this  
Turtle.Boi: Im to tired to answer questions so just read up and they will be answered  
ABurrSir:Oh Okay  
MacaroniAndMe: Right this fucking spider is gone you can go back inside now  
JeSuisChrist: But what if there are other spiders  
MacaroniAndMe: Jesus Fuck fine you can stay in my room im to tired for this bullshit  
Damilton: Yay sleepover!  
MacaroniAndMe: Be quiet Alexander.

\---------

**Author's Note:**

> Was it good?  
> If it wasnt obvious, Alexander was adopted by the schuylers, making him their brother  
> Some of this made up, some based on real conversations~


End file.
